SECTION 3. THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER OFFICIAL ATHLETES BEFORE FRANK PASTORE
Subsection 1. FRANK THE MAN; THE MYTH
Frank Pastore IS Sports Consequences. He is honored above all others as his contributions extend far beyond the field in which he played. While other players labored in mediocrity, Frank with his guarantied contract, proved that the nature of the game extends far beyond the boundaries of the sport.
Subsection 2. HOW TO HONOR FRANK
Cross section A. When Frank's name is mentioned it is appropriate to "ooh" or "aahh", to show your reverence.
Cross section B. Following the initial exclamations of awe, when Frank's name is mentioned, all sufficiandos should, in a low voice, chant... "FRANK-FRANK-FRANK-FRANK-FRANK" at least five times.
Subsection 3. FRANK PASTORE QUESTIONS
Cross section A. If any caller can stump the sufficanados with a question in which Frank Pastore is the answer, such caller will receive... a Frank Pastore baseball card, an autographed picture of the sufficianados, nomination into the Sport or Consequences Hall of Fame, ( to be voted on by the founding members of the sufficianados), and an invitation to be a guest sufficianados. WOW !
Cross section B. If any caller should have the audacity to ask a question, in which Frank is the proper answer ( and this answer is so supplied by the sufficanados), BUT the caller believes it is someone other then Frank... that caller shall be permanently banned from Sports or Consequences, and have his remaining bodily debris used as filler in a cat box.
Subsection 4. WARMING UP IN THE BULLPEN
In the event that frank Pastore should become incapacitated and unable to carry on as official athlete of Sports or Consequences, former Red, Ed Bailey may be called upon to provide wisdom and enlightenment to the seekers of knowledge around the world.
Cross section B. Should Ed Bailey be called upon to serve in any capacity with the sufficianados, it is appropriate to, at mention of his name, to spit, scratch, pick you nose, or throw down to second. Somebody will figure out what's going on.
Back One Step